What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
