dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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