Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
