if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is classic penis vs brain.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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