LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
