That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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