he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
