She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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