a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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