Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
