I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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