what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
