lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
