if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
