My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
