she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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