You made me cry and you don't even care
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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