Where did you get a picture of my penis
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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