Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
