I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
