I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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