Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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