do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
