He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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