You work out of a Hotel?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
