I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
