I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize