could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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