Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
