if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
