i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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