You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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