Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
