my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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