I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
