I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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