felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
sex in a hospital.. check
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
