I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
