He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i've created a new STD.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
