So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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