Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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