You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
