I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
