i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
