I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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