You really coming over, don't trick.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
