I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
