just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
