My friends, they love my intelligence
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
