O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
