i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
