He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
