Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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