Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
