The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
