Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
