I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So vagazzling was a success
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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