does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
