I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
