we're chasing vodka with high fives
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
