I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
