butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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