Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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