The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
